Things that go bump in the night

I constantly find myself awake at 2a.m, 3a.m reading blogs and website, tweeting or just staring at the wall (yes, I mean literally) I'd like to blame it on coffee or excess sugar and to be honest probability of them being the cause is high, but even without consumption of either of the above I still have trouble sleeping early.

I've considered jogging again thinking maybe the workout will relax me, but that's not happening again in awhile. I've tried listening to slow soothing music, but that just gets me angry at the sappiness of the lyrics or if i'm in a weird mood get's me depressed. I tried making myself really warm.. Uncomfortable and impossible to sleep. And today, I even came to bed at 8pm tonite hoping to sleep, it's 2:30a.m. That didn't work.

So now I resign to the fact that i'm norctunal. A child of the darkness - i mean that in the most non evil way possible.

Fucking pissed off!

I started to write a blog, and i got all ideas.. It was deep, intense and full of emotion. I wrote for a while, it was the longest blog i've written. When I was done, i clicked post. And there was an error went back and it was all gone! A fucking waste of my time that was! Try again? Fuck that! I'm so angry right now i almost broke the laptop. Why on earth did I even try?

Not just dreaming..

On days like this, slow with nothing much to do. Lying in my bed staring at the ceiling. It's heard not to think. Even harder not to imagine, envision a remarkable future filled with joy and all the worlds pleasures.
My mind wanders alot, I let my mind wander. I feel it would be pointless to live without a little dreaming, without my dreams I wouldn't be here and tomorrow.. Will be remarkable.

Destiny knocks too damn loud.

    I'm in a really strange mood today, i'm really happy cuz I have an opportunity to start something new and fresh, feels like the time for me to do what I've always dreamt has come (the what will be revealed when the time comes) yet on the other hand I feel this deep sadness like something has died, like I've just lost something.

    I would like to concentrate on the positive be happy that I've been here seen what I've seen and embrace the future with a big smile o my face but it's so ad to pretend that change doesn't scare me. to pretend that failure, doesn't scare me cuz it does. I face my future afraid.. who does that? Oh everyone lol!! I've kept pushing this forward for so long but now I realize you can't run away from your destiny.

   It's hilarious how you can envision something all your life but never do it not because the opportunity to doesn't arise but because you are too darn chicken to get off your you know what and make the dream a reality.

   I've decided, today to open that door, hope the grim reaper isn't on the other side.

I'm glad I wasn't your type.

    I remember when it all came tumbling down, all of the nasty emotions that churned within me. I remember wondering what went wrong, and what was wrong with me. But now i’m looking at you and I see what you really are.. I look at her and… I thank God I wasn’t your type.

Just Smile :)

I guess to many it may be just another day but if you really think about it, it's not. It's a new 24 hours of life, filled with beautiful and utterly crap moments. So what, if shit seems to be going on all around you you're ALIVE so just...

SMILE!!

Monday morning, saturday morning all mornings are shit!

I'm clearly in a shit mood today. I hate this random dark cloud hanging over my head days.

Guess i'll just stay in bed and listen to music.
Hope you guys are having a good day. *smiley face*