Saturday, December 19, 2009

I miss you

I'm here again like clock work, thinking the same thoughts.
I may have stopped wishing years ago but the missing won't go away.
Another year.. Funny how everyone seems to just move on and here I am again. Drowning in pain and anger.
You were my best friend, the only person I trusted.
You had my heart, knew me inside out and then you left.
For the longest time I felt I was responsible, like God was punishing me for loving you too much.
Eventually I got over that but I still longed for your company.
Now all this years have past, and i've grown and I wonder how it would have been if you were here.

I miss you bro, i'll never forget you.


Friday, December 18, 2009

Inlove with my fling

I can now say with confidence and certainty that I did fall inlove with said Mr. Usually that would be a good thing, it is for most atleast but sadly for me that isn't the case.

See my problem is this, i got me in a what they call "casual relationship" for alot of people that's apparently normal or so they keep saying but it's different with me i seem to be incapable of doing the casual thing.., the fact that i went and got myself inlove with the dude being proof of this.

How do people do this thing? Be with someone months and not get emotionally attached? He treats me so great most of the time then he gives me nothing emotionally. I want so badly to believe that he cares even the slightest but my brain, it functions and it's telling me otherwise.

I'm not the fling type, i came in this knowing that but still did it anyway and now i'm constantly hurting wishing i could have more.

I don't even know what my next move is... Hopefully he'll say he feels the same but i'm not holding my breath.