Wednesday, November 18, 2009

This is me

I feel alot more than i'd like to admit i feel. I bottle up my emotions and let them tear me up from my insides. I keep trying to teach myself to just let go but don't seem to really know how. So now everythings crumbling around me, my hate is turning to indifference my like to love and i don't know what to do with it. I keep searching some solution, something to make it all just mellow out but i can't find that thing. So now i've tried a new thing i expressed the one emotion i was most scared to admit to and i'm getting no response. I figure chances are i'll get something negative since i'm a pessimist and all but i'd much rather acknowledgment, just an i hear you and i'm not going anywhere.
I'm scared. I put myself out there. I've nowhere to run. And still all this emotions churning, burning tearing me apart.


  1. Truth is, I lived most of my life just numbing it thru and it took seeing my dad get sick to realize i better start living or else -- so now i try to FEEL everything, even the not good stuff and my life is so much better, not perfect but better and the highs are way higher and the lows are a bitch but I guess they're supposed to be. smell the fuckin roses - even though i always thought they stunk ;-)

  2. I agree roses do stink, like all flowers except at weddings where they smell lovely, but I digress.

    Confronting emotion is something i need lessons on.

  3. you feel the way you do for a reason. the point is not to fight it and let it happen to you. thats the best way to be kind to yourself.